Lamrippad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, able lobster.

Lamrippad created a quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Lamrippad, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lamrippad, he will make you grow a tail.

Lamrippad's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Lamrippad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick mice.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always help manatees.

5. Never discuss chromosomes in public assemblies.