Quarthadbass is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, compassionate crab.

Quarthadbass created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Quarthadbass, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quarthadbass, she will not care.

Quarthadbass' most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Quarthadbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink kilts.

2. Never run in winter.

3. Worship no other gods but Quarthadbass.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not make images of living things.