Zenmonyik is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, dishonest mink.

Zenmonyik created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Zenmonyik, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zenmonyik, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Zenmonyik's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Zenmonyik's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate sharks.

2. Never sing in autumn.

3. Never go into gray rooms.

4. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.