Stikfonjon is a god.

It takes the form of a large, dishonest crab.

Stikfonjon created the Sol system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Stikfonjon, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stikfonjon, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Stikfonjon's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Stikfonjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about capybaras.

2. Never mix onions with water.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.

5. Always remove coats before touching nickel.