Gomtimflagjig Jigfat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying goblin.

Gomtimflagjig Jigfat created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomtimflagjig Jigfat, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gomtimflagjig Jigfat, she will refuse to believe in you.

Gomtimflagjig Jigfat's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gomtimflagjig Jigfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not make images of living things.