Fonlipbaf Nanmanlenwip is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, dishonourable scorpion.

Fonlipbaf Nanmanlenwip created parasitic wasps two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonlipbaf Nanmanlenwip, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fonlipbaf Nanmanlenwip, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fonlipbaf Nanmanlenwip's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Fonlipbaf Nanmanlenwip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

2. Always treat turtles with great respect.

3. Always cleanse water with water.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Always count to eight before sleeping.