Cutquillrat Volzedlimquag is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, weak finch.

Cutquillrat Volzedlimquag created an up quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Cutquillrat Volzedlimquag, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cutquillrat Volzedlimquag, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cutquillrat Volzedlimquag's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Cutquillrat Volzedlimquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to tapirs while wearing stockings.

2. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

3. Never write about fluid mechanics.

4. Hide if six whales approach from the east.

5. Always wear plain hats during rituals.