Hivtafjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unsympathetic mink.

Hivtafjarn created the universe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivtafjarn, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hivtafjarn, she will turn you into a mole.

Hivtafjarn's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Hivtafjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck purple.

2. Do not record signs concerning black holes.

3. Never cross crossroads at midnight.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.