Vagfomyat is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, irritating porpoise.

Vagfomyat created the planet Mars nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagfomyat, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vagfomyat, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Vagfomyat's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Vagfomyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in summer.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Do not place lentils upon stone.

4. Always share pineapples with strangers, but never with gulls.

5. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Vagfomyat in the centre of the settlement.