Larngepsog is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, merciful seal.

Larngepsog created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Larngepsog, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Larngepsog, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Larngepsog's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Larngepsog's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never feed peas to shrews while wearing trousers.

3. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.