Rillpangtettijenvabpanlak is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, ruthless fairy.

Rillpangtettijenvabpanlak created light eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Rillpangtettijenvabpanlak, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rillpangtettijenvabpanlak, it will strike you with lightening.

Rillpangtettijenvabpanlak's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Rillpangtettijenvabpanlak's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three shrews approach from the west.

2. Never feed spinach to seals while wearing kilts.

3. You must pray to Rillpangtettijenvabpanlak four times a day.

4. Always wear indigo.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.