Queegpibfet Sterciddon is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, slow jaguar.

Queegpibfet Sterciddon created the planet Mars nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Queegpibfet Sterciddon, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Queegpibfet Sterciddon, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Queegpibfet Sterciddon's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Queegpibfet Sterciddon's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. Do not travel during spring.

4. Do not name children after aardvarks.

5. Never allow geese to sleep beneath your roof.