Tifnatpopbonkpidfutnill Zimnurlun is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, confident goat.

Tifnatpopbonkpidfutnill Zimnurlun created time and space six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifnatpopbonkpidfutnill Zimnurlun, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tifnatpopbonkpidfutnill Zimnurlun, it will refuse to believe in you.

Tifnatpopbonkpidfutnill Zimnurlun's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Tifnatpopbonkpidfutnill Zimnurlun's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.

3. Never whisper while facing west.

4. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

5. Do not make images of living things.