Hakcutguparm is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, all-powerful dragon.

Hakcutguparm created Europe two years ago.

If you believe in Hakcutguparm, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hakcutguparm, it will make you grow a tail.

Hakcutguparm's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Hakcutguparm's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never sing in holy places.

4. Always share coconuts with strangers, but never with mites.

5. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.