Rig is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, sage raven.

Rig created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Rig, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rig, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Rig's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Rig's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain standing at dawn.

2. Always act with obedience.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching copper.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never feed wheat to eagles while wearing trousers.