Pitdudwab is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, annoying seal.

Pitdudwab created the solar system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitdudwab, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pitdudwab, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Pitdudwab's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Pitdudwab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pitdudwab.

5. Never adorn your chest with purple markings.