Larncudbed is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, blissful hamster.

Larncudbed created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larncudbed, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Larncudbed, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Larncudbed's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Larncudbed's Holy Commandments

1. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

2. Do not wear fawn clothing.

3. Never touch blood while clean.

4. Never wear green tights on sacred days.

5. Do not make images of living things.