Janpommob is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish manatee.

Janpommob created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Janpommob, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Janpommob, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Janpommob's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Janpommob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare bananas while filled with anger.

2. Never skip in winter.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not prepare turnips while wearing tights.