Tifbonkhim is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, merciful goblin.

Tifbonkhim created tapeworms four million years ago.

If you believe in Tifbonkhim, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tifbonkhim, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Tifbonkhim's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tifbonkhim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Eagles are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near rats while wearing blue shirts and balancing nine lead spheres on your arms.

5. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.