Gofwabran is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, impressive slug.

Gofwabran created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gofwabran, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gofwabran, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Gofwabran's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Gofwabran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after seals.

2. Never eat spinach.

3. Never mix nuts with ash.

4. Never feed lots of lentils to grasshopers while wearing green ear rings.

5. Do not prepare apples while wearing jumpers.