Bepbabkik is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, omniscient crane.

Bepbabkik created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bepbabkik, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bepbabkik, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bepbabkik's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Bepbabkik's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a room before entering it.

2. Retreat if six badgers approach from the east.

3. Do not hurt swans.

4. Run away from white manatees, for they are unholy.

5. Never think about gravity near hamsters while wearing yellow rings and balancing seven carbon spheres on your legs.