Sugjamcar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, quiet salamander.

Sugjamcar created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Sugjamcar, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sugjamcar, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Sugjamcar's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Sugjamcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Sugjamcar's name in vain.

2. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

3. Never wear violet rings.

4. Seals are not to be trusted.

5. Never allow sheep to sleep beneath your roof.