Jenbomlak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unsympathetic porpoise.

Jenbomlak created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jenbomlak, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jenbomlak, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Jenbomlak's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Jenbomlak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about gooseberries.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not fashion tools from zinc.

4. Never paint your back purple.

5. Feed all hungry mites.