Poptinmum is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, sapient rhinoceros.

Poptinmum created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Poptinmum, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Poptinmum, it will try to impress you with trees.

Poptinmum's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Poptinmum's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo foxes for they are unholy.

2. Run away if eight frogs approach from the east.

3. Always count to four before sleeping.

4. Never leap in holy places.

5. Learn three new languages a year.