Vadkipfasstan is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unselfish jellyfish.

Vadkipfasstan created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Vadkipfasstan, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vadkipfasstan, she will manifest in front of you.

Vadkipfasstan's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Vadkipfasstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Shun those given to cruelty.

3. Never run in the presence of dogs.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Feed all hungry goats.