Fotrapcun is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, clever mole.

Fotrapcun created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotrapcun, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fotrapcun, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Fotrapcun's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Fotrapcun's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near badgers.

2. Do not speak about apples.

3. Never cross rivers at midday.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never jump in the presence of squirrels.