Largfutjap is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, smart rhinoceros.

Largfutjap created oxygen six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Largfutjap, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Largfutjap, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Largfutjap's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Largfutjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face red.

2. You must love Largfutjap.

3. Worship no other gods but Largfutjap.

4. Do not prepare rice while filled with anger.

5. Never gather five great tits in one place.