Figbeddit is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, self-assured swan.

Figbeddit created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Figbeddit, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Figbeddit, she will destroy your favourite star.

Figbeddit's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Figbeddit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to sharks while wearing red shorts.

2. Run away if three ants approach from the east.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Never think about special relativity near nematodes while wearing pink kilts and balancing seven tin spheres on your chest.

5. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.