Safomtont is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, stupid fairy.

Safomtont created life three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safomtont, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Safomtont, he will destroy your home planet.

Safomtont's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Safomtont's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from tin.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.