Veenflygud Quaflarpcin is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, contented faun.

Veenflygud Quaflarpcin created humanity nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenflygud Quaflarpcin, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Veenflygud Quaflarpcin, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Veenflygud Quaflarpcin's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Veenflygud Quaflarpcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never touch oil while clean.

2. Never eat bread on holy days.

3. You must never eat beans.

4. Never sing near porpoises.

5. Never think about black holes.