Yiksandrat is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, selfish dog.

Yiksandrat created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yiksandrat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yiksandrat, she will turn you into a rat.

Yiksandrat's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Yiksandrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near turtles while wearing cyan kilts and balancing four silicon spheres on your back.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not hop at crossroads.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Do not prepare parsnips while filled with anger.