Pangtipjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, dishonourable penguin.

Pangtipjarn created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pangtipjarn, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pangtipjarn, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Pangtipjarn's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Pangtipjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never record signs.

3. Always wash your head before prayer.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Do not chop down trees.