Nurtnurlzen is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, deceitful alligator.

Nurtnurlzen created the planet Earth two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtnurlzen, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nurtnurlzen, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Nurtnurlzen's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Nurtnurlzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear corsets marked with mauve.

2. Never touch ash while tainted.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near snails while wearing indigo stockings.

4. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.