Wadsag is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unjust gnu.

Wadsag created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wadsag, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Wadsag, he will turn you into a duck.

Wadsag's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Wadsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dolphins.

2. Never think about optics near pigs while wearing fawn kilts and balancing three copper spheres on your hands.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not name children after birds.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Wadsag.