Jamfossmip is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, contented gerbil.

Jamfossmip created a down quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamfossmip, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jamfossmip, she will turn you into a snail.

Jamfossmip's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Jamfossmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Never hurt swans.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching silicon.

4. Never gather four pigs near towers.

5. Always maintain obedience during holy days.