Bissnatbum is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, irritating centaur.

Bissnatbum created silver six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissnatbum, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bissnatbum, it will turn you into a worm.

Bissnatbum's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Bissnatbum's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bissnatbum's priests.

2. Always maintain purity during days of mourning.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near tortoises while wearing violet dresses and balancing five lead spheres on your head.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Never sit in the presence of elders.