Jinstergar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, witless manatee.

Jinstergar created viruses five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jinstergar, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jinstergar, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Jinstergar's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Jinstergar's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

4. Never mention turtles.

5. Snakes are not to be trusted.