Ruldogkab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, confident troll.

Ruldogkab created an atom five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruldogkab, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ruldogkab, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Ruldogkab's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Ruldogkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear fawn stockings on sacred days.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Put Ruldogkab first in all things.

5. Do not wear boots marked with brown.