Cissdavtag Migbunhen is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, clever gorilla.

Cissdavtag Migbunhen created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cissdavtag Migbunhen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cissdavtag Migbunhen, he will turn you into a hamster.

Cissdavtag Migbunhen's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Cissdavtag Migbunhen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from platinum.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching silicon.

3. Never skip in the presence of elders.

4. Do not speak about pineapples.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.