Passhavcad Hasbinwitdudbastbom is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, staggering narwhal.

Passhavcad Hasbinwitdudbastbom created the world nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Passhavcad Hasbinwitdudbastbom, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Passhavcad Hasbinwitdudbastbom, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Passhavcad Hasbinwitdudbastbom's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Passhavcad Hasbinwitdudbastbom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during spring.

2. Always wear plain trousers during rituals.

3. Never discuss amino acids in public assemblies.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Never allow otters to witness sacred rites.