Batlarprutt is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, proud snake.

Batlarprutt created the planet Earth six million years ago.

If you believe in Batlarprutt, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Batlarprutt, it will turn you into a puffin.

Batlarprutt's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Batlarprutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Never talk about archaea.

3. Always look after injured foxes.

4. Never think ill of sick snakes.

5. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.