Bemcutgeppag is a god.

He takes the form of a large, caring spider.

Bemcutgeppag created energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bemcutgeppag, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bemcutgeppag, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bemcutgeppag's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bemcutgeppag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

4. Never mix strawberries with ash.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.