Gepgomrow is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, resourceful dugong.

Gepgomrow created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepgomrow, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gepgomrow, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gepgomrow's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Gepgomrow's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never eat cherries on fasting days.

3. Do not keep seven manatees in a large pit.

4. Never paint your arms brown.

5. Always help otters.