Fonquartsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, temperamental hedgehog.

Fonquartsaw created vertebrates eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonquartsaw, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Fonquartsaw, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Fonquartsaw's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Fonquartsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always count to five before sleeping.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Never write about photosynthesis.