Somyarlnutmadjenraw is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, generous dingo.

Somyarlnutmadjenraw created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Somyarlnutmadjenraw, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Somyarlnutmadjenraw, it will boil you in a big pot.

Somyarlnutmadjenraw's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Somyarlnutmadjenraw's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never carve symbols of comets into wood.

3. Somyarlnutmadjenraw loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.