Dumquamtam is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, capable duck.

Dumquamtam created the world four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumquamtam, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Dumquamtam, he will cry a lot.

Dumquamtam's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Dumquamtam's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the north during summer.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Hide from white nematodes for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity.