Cimbomran is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, charitable squid.

Cimbomran created the planet Jupiter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimbomran, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Cimbomran, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Cimbomran's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Cimbomran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate dark energy during the night.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

4. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never write about nebulae.