Zimmabsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a large, stupid centaur.

Zimmabsaf created bats three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimmabsaf, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Zimmabsaf, he will be very unhappy.

Zimmabsaf's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Zimmabsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never remain standing at dawn.

3. Never handle carbon while unclean.

4. Zimmabsaf loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near voles while wearing purple scarves and balancing four silicon spheres on your hands.