Xemtarpgun is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humane lobster.

Xemtarpgun created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xemtarpgun, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xemtarpgun, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Xemtarpgun's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Xemtarpgun's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt shrews.

2. Feed all hungry mites.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Eagles are not to be trusted.

5. Always pray immersed in water.