Natcemnelgess is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, sapient hamster.

Natcemnelgess created silver three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Natcemnelgess, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Natcemnelgess, he will destroy your home solar system.

Natcemnelgess' most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Natcemnelgess' Holy Commandments

1. Natcemnelgess loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

2. Never cross mountains at dusk.

3. Never bounce in the presence of moths.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Natcemnelgess on top of all buildings.